I am having a hard time with this. And I honestly want to understand, and I am not out to disrespect Christians with this.
Three in my mind, is not One.. obviously. True monotheism, is not One with three facets.. It seems a borrowing from the pagans who believed in triple aspects of Gods/desses.
Secondly, I could be a christian here and now if I could just see Jesus as the word made flesh.. that is to say, the one who was sent by God to teach and lead the example of the ideal way to live to which all can strive. Yet I can not see him as God or God incarnate it goes against ever fiber of my notions of monotheism and the ill necessity of such an incarnation. If I offend my fellow man, I ask his or her forgiveness, then I ask God to make me stronger and not do such a thing again. If I sin against God, I definitely ask his forgiveness and strive to not do that deed again either. I can see Jesus as the last sacrifice, in a far stretch of imagination, from the mosaic law about sacrifice needing to be made.. He would be the last of such sacrifices for all time.
The wages of sin is death, each man and woman will pay this price one day.. why make God out to exact a most unjust punishment on all beyond that? Accept Jesus sacrifice, keep to the highest commandment “Hear, O Israel!, The Lord your God is One God….Love thy neighbor as thyself.” and one would hopefully find Heaven in the next life.
Lastly, I do not mind looking to Jesus as Lord..as in a sovereign, a leader of the Christian people and he who led a sinless life for the guidance and teachings to all who would come to be christians. Yet as a God, or much less a member of a triune Godhead.. this I can not accept.
Most Scholars accept that the I AM statements of John were later additions and that the book of John itself is not apart of the Synoptic Gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke. Even Mark was later edited on.. interpolated it is said.
Please no platitudes… I have been told by many christians many explanations… The egg theory, the how one can be a Son, Father and Uncle.. this is not advancing the problem of Jesus being God..And I have also been told “just pray and God will guide.” I pray nightly and it keeps driving me in these questions to greater heights of theories and ideas, yes, but they all lead to see GOD as GOD and Jesus as Lord, who was the word made flesh, but not GOD incarnate. It has also led me to see the Holy Spirit as being the gift of man from GOD. Yet this is as distinct personages, not all being GOD or some sort of divine mystery.
And some say Jesus is the only begotten son.. what about Psalms 2:7 which calls David God’s begotten son?
I ask for open minded, thoughtful christians to aide me in this matter, please, I truly wish to find a peace with this.
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