Is it okay not to give bridesmaid gifts when I’m on a very limited budget?
Mar 04, 2010
in
Budget Gifts
My fiance and I have paying for most of the wedding ourselves and we really don’t have any extra money to spare, especially on my part. I was in a friend’s wedding this summer and she couldn’t give the bridesmaids gifts and I can’t really afford it either. I wasn’t hurt, upset or insulted when I didn’t receive a gift. Would it be okay for me to not give my gal pals gifts? Or give something to them at a later date?
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20 comments
Stina Lady on March 4, 2010 at 9:23 pm
Just give them some nice thank-you notes and write a personal message. That would mean more to me than some gift I probably won’t use.
Nancy C on March 4, 2010 at 10:04 pm
How about making them something – jewelry, a poem, cookies, wherever your talents lie – expressing your appreciation for their participation in your special day?
Sessa on March 4, 2010 at 10:35 pm
Yes, they are really just there because they are your friends. You know for support reasons. I am more then sure that they will understand. Weddings aren’t cheap!
Debbie on March 4, 2010 at 10:49 pm
Sure! I was a bridesmaid once and we didn’t get anything. I never thought about it until now.
Give them a card each with a nice note from you in it telling them how much you appreciate them and everything they have done for you.
That will be gift enough!
justanotherrodeogirl on March 4, 2010 at 11:45 pm
um you made them spend money on dresses take time off of work had did what ever you wanted and you couldnt give them a gift????? to show how thankful you are for these girls to throw showers attend rehersals and be at your beck and call i would be very insulted if you paid for the dresses and they are not rented then that can be there gift but other then that i would at least get jewlery or something you can get things that are 5 -10 dollars dont have to be something out there
Sunny on March 5, 2010 at 12:17 am
It’s fine not to give them a gift but you should still at least give them a thank you card with a something nice written in it, like how much it means to you for them to be in your wedding. or you could even just write a thank you poem like this
“You’ve been such an important part of my life
that I could not imagine this happy day
without you by my side lending your love and support.
Thank you for being
a very special part of our wedding day.”
or
“Thank you for being such an important
part of our wedding day.
It means so much to me to have you by my side.
You make a happy time even happier
with your help and support.”
crumb1991 on March 5, 2010 at 12:36 am
It is customary and, in some cases even expected that the bridal party be given gifts. Ultimately, it depends on how well your bridal party will take this…if they’re all laid back and understanding, then you’re probably okay, but one person carrying a chip on their shoulders can cause additional stress, so if you have one…or think you have one, perhaps you guys could opt for a non-traditional gift. Have just the bridal party over for a nice dinner or bbq and make sure to thank them all personally and let them know how much them being part of your wedding means to you. If you think you still might have someone who’s a bit gift-happy, then maybe consider making them gifts. If you’re at all crafty, you could purchase some inexpensive picture frames or wooden boxes and dazzle them up to match each person’s tastes. There are lots of ways to make things more personal and I think that if you take the time to explain how much their presence means to you but that you’re on a really tight budget, most people are understanding…others, well, there’s no pleasing them. Just keep in mind that your wedding can be expensive for them as well…the dress/tux rentals, shoes and accessories, not to mention lodging and travel costs…so be aware of that as well!
Best of luck!
mX2007 on March 5, 2010 at 1:21 am
They’re spending money and time to be in your wedding. The least you can do is make them something. Write a poem or press some flowers or something.
Jimmy's Wife on March 5, 2010 at 2:11 am
Your friends and loved ones are taking part in your wedding…because they love you…not because of possible gifts.
However, having said that…money is tight for everyone right now. Sure, you are spending loads on the wedding, and there isn’t much to spare. But you made this choice to have the budget you have. Your bridal party, however, is coming up with a lot money to do all the things that people do…(bridesmaid dresses, hair/makeup, shoes, bridal shower, bachelorette party, and a GIFT for you)…to make sure you will have a special time and wonderful celebration.
I suggest you write very heartfelt letters and cards to show your appreciation. If you can’t afford large gifts, make something with your own hands to show how much love, respect, and thanks you have for these people who make your day possible and special.
Brooke L on March 5, 2010 at 2:55 am
yes if they were real pals thay wount care.
The Thriftmaster. on March 5, 2010 at 3:08 am
if they are spending money on YOUR wedding, yes you should give them a gift! i cannot believe people are saying its okay to stiff your friends after their hard work for your wedding.
i don’t care how much of a budget your on, you make room to buy them something. it doesn’t even have to be super expensive. you could make them something even.
i think it is really rude to not give them a gift.
Sandy on March 5, 2010 at 3:39 am
Thriftmaster is right, it is rude to not give your bridal party a present after all their hardwork, time off of work, help with your wedding, and gifts for you. Even a card would show some appreciation, but a nice gift should be accounted for in your wedding budget. It doesn’t have to be an extravagent gift or anything, maybe a small momento of your friendship..but to give nothing would be horrible, they are standing up for you on your special day, don’t forget to give them something.
Platinum Bride 2B on March 5, 2010 at 4:06 am
Is it ok to not give your bridesmaids a gift? This is after they have spent the money on a dress for your wedding, taken the time for fittings, time for a rehearsal, and doing you the honor of standing up for you on your most special of days? No, my dear, it is not ok to not get them something. This is a part of wedding budgeting. You really needed to factor in the expense of gifts in your early planning.
Alaniz on March 5, 2010 at 4:07 am
I agree with the first poster.
SirenSong on March 5, 2010 at 4:55 am
That’s fine. Just write a heartfelt thank you note. Most people would appreciate that more than jewelry they’ll never wear again.
Getting married June 27th, 2009! on March 5, 2010 at 5:52 am
I would at least take them out to eat. They are spending that money to be in your wedding it is the least you can do. Or look for sales for necklaces! I just bought two engraved heart necklaces for my flower girls and they cost around $4 because I waited for sales and then searched for online coupons. Right now is the perfect time to get them with all the sales that are going on. Even walmart right now has necklace sets for cheap and they have a whole bunch of different ones to choose from.I just bought the grandmothers broaches from there, they were only $5! I personally would not be offended, a little irritated that I just bought a dress, shoes, bridal shower gift and wedding gift and not to mention the bachelorette party. You need to give them a little thank you of something! If you have a budget maybe think of cutting something out that you really don’t need. So that you can thank those that are in you bridal party. You have the internet. There are thousands of possibilities! Try amazon.com or even ebay! Or even maybe I know walmart has do it yourself necklaces that you can make. Buy the kit and make them! Good luck!
Ps. I love you! on March 5, 2010 at 6:05 am
I think its fine not to give them gifts
THE BEST GIFT YOU GIVE TO THEM IS LETTING THEM BE IN YOUR WEDDING.
gallant22093 on March 5, 2010 at 6:37 am
hey im actually answering your photography question but you already marked it as resolved… my friend had this problem so they left disposable cameras on every table at the reception and let the guests be the photographers. At the end of the night everyone turned the cameras in to the bride. It was fun and it got people involved plus they got some great shots. hope this helps
LADY H on March 5, 2010 at 6:52 am
I think that when you’re invited to participate in a friend’s wedding; that in itself is an honor! However, you could always make something small and special for each girl if you just want to give them something… However, in any event; don’t stress over it, if they truly are your gal pals, they wouldn’t feel a way anyway, their just glad to be in the wedding party!
s0ck-puPPeT on March 5, 2010 at 7:34 am
Giving them a thankyou note with a personal message inside will probably be better than a gift that they probably wont use. Don’t stress too much about your wedding in the end you have a great time and wonder what all the stressing was for…so trust me , it’ll be fine , just relax , dont stress and most of all HAVE FUN!